Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant

Some people love it. Some loath the thought of it. There's really no in betweens. I just finished reading this book, which is a collection of essays/articles by 26 authors confessing when they cook for one or dine alone.

An extremely delightful read that will inspire you, make you laugh and make you think back to the times when you were alone and had to think of "what's for dinner?". The way the book was put together was witty and quirky and it caught my attention right away:

"Dinner alone is one of life's pleasure. Certainly cooking for oneself reveals man at his weirdest. People like when you ask them what they eat when they are alone. A salad, they tell you. But when you persist, they confess to peanut butter and bacon sandwiches deep fried and eaten with hot sauce, or spaghetti with butter and grape jam." - Laurie Colwin.

Here's my version of "Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant".





Dining alone is bliss, but having to cook for yourself is a chore. Sure, there were times when the gourmand in me just wanted to impress myself and I would put together a simple but still fancy meal for myself. But is a rare thing. The most recent meal that I prepared for myself was a grown-up version of grilled cheese, with layers of serrano ham, thinly sliced green apples, quince jelly, brie and a bit of dijon, butter, salt and pepper. I didn't even bother to take out my pan and grill my sandwich the proper way. I just shoved it in the toaster oven for 5 mins and that was a fancy homemade dinner for me. I enjoyed every single bite of it and I always enjoy eating by myself. Is not so much about the food for me, is more so that I finally have the house to myself and I am not going to waste the 2 hours of precious time in the kitchen.

Cooking should be for others, not for myself. Feeding people is my thing. So you can imagine the meals I have when I am home alone and have to solve the 'dinner problem'.

- I eat leftovers straight out from the fridge because I am too lazy to reheat them and because they sometimes taste better cold.

- I love instant noodles with chiew chow chili sauce, Chinese preserved pickles and ketchup. Yes, ketchup. If I feel like treating myself, I add an egg.

- Canned soups were my best friend for awhile until I found out that they are loaded with sodium and they make me bloated and turn me into fat face.

- I would just eat loads and loads of vegetables for dinner. No seasonings, just boiled and eat from the pot. Veggies taste best au naturelle.

- A glass or 2 of wine, a bowl full of olives and leftover French bread. Addictive.

I find pleasure in all of the above.

There was a period in my life where I constantly cooked for my parents and myself when I was alone. At least 10 years ago, and it was the time when I started to really appreciate cooking and food. And with the kitchen I used to have in Vancouver, who wouldn't want to be in it all the time? It was a great bonding place with a big counter right in the middle of the kitchen where everyone could gather around and watch me prepare the dishes. It was spacious, well equipped and I had Carlia, my awesome awesome nanny who I love to bits and pieces, to help me clean up!

I would invite a few friends to come over and have a baking day or I would teach them how to make crab cakes to impress their boyfriends. Friends actually asked if they could come over and watch me cook. I remember I made the same pasta almost everyday for a month because I wanted to find the perfect balance of flavours. What started to be a favorite for my parents turned into "Omgosh, she is making pasta with garlic, anchovies, sundried tomato and parsley again!". They didn't say that to me, but I could see it on their faces. I think that was the only time when I would make myself a proper dinner, with wine and all.

It was a night in the early summer. My parents were out for dinner and it was Carlita's day off. 7:00pm and the sun was still out with clear blue sky. A slight breeze and birds were chirping and of course there were annoying bees flying around. I was sitting on the porch in my backyard taking this all in. Solitude ... which I can't seem to find nowadays. I decided to make myself a good dinner. There was left over pesto and chicken breast in the fridge, half a bottle of white wine and a pack of aborio rice. And so I took 30mins to make myself Grilled Pesto Chicken with Fresh Herbs and Lemon Risotto, the perfect dinner for a warm summer night. I don't know why this meal stood out in particular, but I remember that it was very therapeutic when I was preparing this dish - chopping onions and garlic, grating parmesan cheese, constantly stirring my risotto and ladling in the broth bit by bit so that the grains of rice won't drown but would slowly soak up the liquid. The risotto took exactly 18 minutes and my grilled chicken took around 15 minutes or so. I even did the chef thing where I seared the meat on both sides and finish it off in the oven. I plated and admired the dish for a minute before I took the first bite.

Sigh ... those days are gone. Now, I can't even bring myself to think of cooking such a dish for myself. Not too sure what changed, but I just couldn't be bothered anymore. Oh, and stop asking me what I am going to have for dinner. I won't starve. There is food in the kitchen and I will eat. Stop calling me every hour to ask if you need to buy me food. I know is out of love, but for that split second, I just think is plain annoying and unnecessary. Truly ungrateful, but I can't help it.